Current mood:	thankful
Current music:	pulp

countdown.
i'll be 26 in 6 days.
i'll be a wife in 41 days.
i will have lived in this house as a homeowner for a year as of 49 days from today.
penny will be a year old in 2 days.
bastian will have been dead for one year in 1 day.


i hate spring so much. i love the weather, but i associate so much sadness with this time of year. it's weird how temperature changes and the way it makes your skin feel... the smells and sounds that go along with it... can trigger such unhappy thoughts just as winter is starting to go away and the weather feels so perfect outside.

i'm trying to make sure that good events in my life happen in the spring. steven just turned 25 last weekend. we got penny, we bought a house. i started a new (amazingggggg) job and next month i'll marry someone who i still don't even feel like i deserve to have like i do. it's crazy to feel like you'd never be the person you want to be without someone else. he makes me want to be so much better and yes, i'd live without him, but i like who i am SO much better because of him.

on the 16th of may, we'll go to savannah and settle in for a couple of days. we'll be married on the 18th and spend some time with friends and family before leaving for sanfrancisco on tuesday the 20th. we'll arrive home on the 25th of may - the same day we moved into this house 1 year ago.

24 was a sad, hard year.
25 was full of events, but with the most horrible job i've ever had in my life.
26 will turn spring into a good thing again.

hope everybody's doing well.
love, melissa.