Current mood:

calm

a full family.
my sister just called to say she's engaged. he proposed on a hot air balloon.

i was on the phone and she tried beeping in 3 times and i knew exactly why she was calling. i hung up the phone and thought about how i had to muster some sort of excitement in my voice and then when i heard her and i heard how genuinely excited she was, and because of how cool and calm and collected she is, she was trying to sound normal and together... but she kept letting elation slip through... and she said "i'm finally going to have a complete family and i only had to wait 13 years..."

maddie is going to be 13 this year... she's really been alone all this time - raising a child by herself after we left atlanta, going at it alone...

and it's like, no matter how much i'm not wild about this guy and i have my reservations, she said that she felt like she could finally breathe because it's certain now.

i'm just happy to know that i can still cry out of happiness for somebody else even when it doesn't fit the agenda that i had planned for them. she said she feels so calm - not confused, not scared, not anxious... just sure and calm. i know that's what it will be like for me once i mature and grow into this a little bit more inside myself.

i'm just so happy for her.